My Radiotherapy Experience – Days 18-26

Question is – what IS going on? I am now at the point where I thought things might be a little easier, but swallowing more than liquids is still impossible. My weight is now down by more than 30 lbs from when I started and I am getting loads of advice about how Ensures are bad – one American doctor tells me the only thing they will do is KILL ME! – but if I don’t drink them there’s very little else my stomach will accept, certainly that will give me any energy at all, and with no energy I fear my resistance to everything will be low, and along with it my morale. I’m not used to feeling anything but robust – the frailty means I don’t recognise myself, and for the first time my daughter told me maybe I was starting to get depressed (ME _ DEPRESSED?!?) I had some reiki today and it was terrific, out in the sun with the birds singing in my garden.

However, there’s no doubting the fact that I’m simply waiting and hoping that the radiotherapy has done something in the way of shrinking the tumour. It just hasn’t happened – yet. It’s only five days now until I go back to Penny Brohn Cancer Care at Bristol, this time for five days. I hope I can eat something -their food is wonderful! It is now three weeks exactly since I finished the radiotherapy.