Dad has passed on
Dear all,
This is Toby, Tony’s son, writing on behalf of him. I regret to inform you that in the early hours of this morning Dads body allowed him to pass on. I can assure you that it was as peaceful a time as could be – from doctors suggestions we feared the worst of how it might come about but something inside dad didn’t let that happen. It was a matter of sitting up eating an ice-lolly one moment, to laying on his side and letting go into sleep. He was strong, peaceful and composed till the very very end.
We all felt that he wouldn’t leave us until he was ready, and this can only mean that he felt that time was right – at no point was he ever dictated to by that disease. One of the most prominent memories I will always carry of my Dad was of his unabounding strength, a characteristic recognised by so many people - I can only hope to have half his strength one day.
The world is a poorer place without him, he had so much to offer in the way of his talents, advice and spirit – but, as he always believed, somewhere will have gained him.
Thankyou all for the support you have given – words cannot describe the importance that it has played.
Love
Tony’s famiy
August 24, 2008 at 9:07 am
Toby,
You are far more elequant than I could ever be, thank you for saying all the things that needed to be said for us all.
I can only reiterate my thanks to all those who have been such a major part of his life this year, and given him so much via this blog and csl etc…
Once I have details of the funeral arrangements (which will be in Bristol) I will post them here so those that are able, and wish to do so can attend.
All my love,
Adam
xxx
August 24, 2008 at 12:15 pm
Dear Adam and Toby
Very sad news, your dad was a great man and will be really missed.
My thoughts are with you and the rest of your family
Tim C
August 24, 2008 at 12:36 pm
Oh Tracy,
We’ve just seen Toby’s message on the Blog.
We’re so sorry.
We woke up early this AM with a premonition and Sue had the song “Step into the Light, Why don’t you” in her mind. She sent some prayers to Tony earlier on. I hope they help.
Here’s a copy of that:
Dear Tony
It’s Sue here, above ( On Tony’s Email address) is a beautiful sung version of the prayer Clive sent you.
Here are a few others prayers in prose that came to me this morning:
O God help me to believe the truth about myself no matter how beautiful it is .. Macrina Wiederkehr
Nightly meditation:
“Haskivenu Adonai Eloheinu
May we lay down this night in safety and in peace
May we wake each day to life and to love
Ufros aleinu sukkat shlomecha
May we spend our days in Your sheltering presence
Protected from all evil, sadness, danger and harm.
U’shmor tzei’teinu u’vo einu
May we journey through life
In the shadow of Your wings
O God of compassion our Shield and Salvation now and forever .
Amen”. … Rabbi Terry Bookman, from the Busy Soul
“Adonai li, vilo ira. God is with me, I will not be afraid”.
“Yah Elohai, b’ch achasiti. In You, oh God, I take refuge”.
Days pass and the years vanish and I walk sightless among miracles.
Eternal God, fill my eyes with seeing and my mind with knowing:
Let there be moments when the lightning of your Presence
Illumines the darkness in which I walk.
Help me to see, wherever I gaze, a world aflame with the wonder of Your
Presence.
And I, clay touched by God, will reach out for holiness and exclaim in wonder;
Surely God is in this place.. and I did not know it.. Rabbi Chaim Stern.
“ I believe in the sun even when it is not shining.
I believe in love even when feeling it not.
I believe in God even when he is silent”… A Jewish Prayer found on a wall in a Warsaw Ghetto.
“ We call upon our Ancestors, Spirit of the earth we walk upon, Spirit of the universe.
We have come to a crossroad, to a time when every word matters, to a time when we must reevaluate ourselves and our actions.
Our heart is fragile, our body is shivering in front of the unknown, our back is heavy from the past burdens we do not know how to get rid of.
We ask that you shower us again with love and compassion, make peace rain in our heart and soul, teach us how to see each other with a brand new eye, help us to appreciate and welcome each other.
We need your blessings to move on, we need your strength to make it through this time of turbulence.
Ancestors, hold us in your peace and warmth”. Sobonfu and Malidoma Some in Prayers for 1000 years.
There in a place in you where there is perfect peace.
There is a place for you where nothing is impossible.
There is a place in you where the strength of God abides”. A Course in Miracles
Dearest soul, that is known as Tony.. May love and light lead your way, to whatever the next moment holds… with much love to you and yours… Sue Bayley
If there’s anything we can do we will.
My Mum is in hospital in a High dependency ward after having a stroke last week; I guess we need to share our Love around!
We’ll call you in a little while.
All our Love
SUE & CLIVE BAYLEY
August 24, 2008 at 3:14 pm
Dear Tracy, Toby, Charlie and all the other members of Tony’s family whom I haven’t yet met.
My heart is with you all at this difficult time. Tony’s love for you all was -and is – immense; that was obvious.
I am so saddened today for you, and I’m saddened for myself too. Sadly, I didn’t get to have the last conversation with him that I wanted. We last spoke 9 days ago and I hadn’t realised things were at that stage. I think my last words included something like “stay with us, and I’ll see you next week.” I should know better – they say if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans!
The last time I saw Tony he said that in a peculiar way this illness had brought him many good things too – he was exploring and learning so much more than he had before about himself, life and the universe. I’m thrilled he had such a wonderful, loving family and a great support group of friends, fellow cancer travellers, and companions along life’s journey. Definitely one of life’s good guys.
I hope very much to be able to make the funeral, and keep my fingers crossed that existing work commitments don’t clash. I would very much like to be there at the celebration of Tony’s life.
with love
Namaste
Sue Lickorish
(Namaste: I honour the place in you where the entire universe resides. I honour the place in you of love, of truth, of light and of peace. And when you are in that place in you, and I am in that place in me, we are one.)
August 24, 2008 at 3:18 pm
Dearest Tony…. I will miss you so. You have given so much to me in life and in this journey.. you taught us all how to love our family, live our lives and now take the next step. Know that many tears will fall this day not only to say goodbye but to celebrate your life. What a dull fucking world this would have been without you. May the peace of the everlasting God be with you always. I look forward to our chats in the next place. Energy never dies and I will know yours buy the joy on your face and the memories of times gone by. Know you were loved by thousands… and that in life you changed everyone you met.
Tony’s family.. I will forever be praying for you. His love for you all was so strong just close your eyes and he is right there. Know we will be praying for you all. My deepesy sympathy in your loss and I rejoice in the life of your Dad and husband each one of you carries him with you.. live love and laugh he would have wanted that. Much love. Callie and Duncan Broussard-Wheeler
August 24, 2008 at 3:22 pm
Oh and Toby… you already have his strength you just proved it. Much love Callie
August 24, 2008 at 4:56 pm
Tony’s Family,
I am very saddened by the news Zoe has just told me. My heart and thoughts are with you at this very sad and difficult time. Having lost someone close to me I can maybe empathise a little with what you all must be going through, and as the family of Tony, I am sure that his strength, composure, and courage of his convictions, that he has undoubtedly passed on to his children, will guide you through this difficult time and provide that much needed support.
Tony, having only met you a few times, I walked away from every meeting having learnt something new; being continually amazed by your intellect and breadth and depth of knowledge – I thank you for those times spent together which I truly value, I thank you for the opportunity to get to know you and your loving family, and I thank you most for my beautiful fiance.
My thoughts and love are with you all at this sad time.
Rhys
August 24, 2008 at 9:08 pm
Tony, It was so good to know you. You’ve been an inspiration to so very many. I will remember your great vibrant soul, your sense of humor and your great faith. There are no endings.. just many journeys. til we all meet again, mo chara.
Deepest condolences to Tony’s whole family and all his friends.
~ Karen
August 26, 2008 at 11:48 am
Dear Toby and Adam,
I am so sorry to hear of your father’s passing. It was peaceful, I understand and I am grateful for that. You have lost a wonderful father and I have lost a great friend. Tony and I had known each other for around sixty years. We were born within months of each other and started the great journey of life together even before starting school. I always knew that Tony was gifted and someone special. Though we lost touch for some years we were not far away in spirit and it was Tony who found me. I am so glad that he did and that we were able to spend time together and relive many of our early memories. Tony had great strength and during his lifetime overcame many setbacks over the years to become very successful in business and much admired. That strength was there to the end. I am proud and honoured to have known Tony as my friend. I hope we will meet again in another dimension.
My condolences go to Tracy, as well as Tony’s family and especially to sister, Wendy.
“Tony, old friend, you will live on because of the legacy of your lovely and very talented family.”
For Whom the Bell Tolls
By John Donne
No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manner of thine own
Or of thine friend’s were.
Each man’s death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.
All our love – Graham & family.
August 26, 2008 at 4:08 pm
Toby, I have just seen this message – I am so, so sorry. your dad was such a lovely, kind, talented man and i feel very lucky to have known him (and all of you) and to have worked with him. he taught me such a huge amount and i dont think i would be doing what i am now if he hadnt, so i have a so much to be thankful to him for. just from reading through the messages on this blog we can all see how well loved and respected he was, and he always will be.
Tracy, I cant imagine how you must feel but i know you and your family will all be supporting each other and that Tony will always be with you in his own way – I am thinking of you all.
lots of love
sarah xxx
August 27, 2008 at 9:13 am
This is the first time I have visited this website having got the address from Charlie. I saw Tony last week and knew it was for the last time. I know how it feels to lose someone so dear and so precious but Toby is right when he says Tony was ready (and would not go a moment sooner!)
He was vital, entertaining and passionate. He loved life and people and it is so cruel that the world should lose such a man. I always felt completed uplifted whenever we met because he saw a positive in everything.
Nothing I write here can adequately express my sorrow but the comments I have already read here bring him to life again for me. They are a testament to how much he was loved and admired. I now his priority when he was diagnosed was to spend as much time with his family as possible and they are the stronger for it. I will miss him so much.
Chrissie xxxxx