I thought it would be nice to post up any of Tony’s artwork that people have pictures of. If anyone has any pictures or sketches done by dad which they can email me a jpg of at adamososki@yahoo.co.uk I will post them up here.

To get the ball rolling, I have this one which Dad painted for my Wedding present in July. I totally love the fact that he had to develop a whole new style to capture this picture, which is awesome.

This is how he saw the cancer inside of him, never losing perspective or his sense of Humour (which was wicked)

So please don’t be shy – send me some photos of his work and let get it up here for all to enjoy.

Adam

The day was everything Dad would have wanted, the service traditional even down to my ripped shirt, and the location and nature of the cemetery and his place within it also just so. Toby made me cry again with his beautiful words – Tobs, you really must use that talent for the greater good one day, maybe run for politics! And the people of Bristol came to welcome Dad into their permanent congregation, and they were pretty wonderful too.

Everyone came back for tea and a chat after at The River Station in Bristol centre, and that was were the magic started. I’d promised Dad that we would not wail in grief, but rather celebrate those good things that we remembered – and between so many friends and relatives we managed to remember the funny, the poignant and some of the dramatic ways that Tony touched all our lives.

So I came up with the idea that because this whole blog will rest here now, as a message of positive energy for all that come after, that Dad’s poems, his stories and maybe even some of his artwork have and will make it to these pages and be seen by many, that we – all of us that were touched by him, should leave a comment here – short or long, remembering how Tony touched their lives – funny or otherwise so we can all share those memories and enjoy them.

If you want to blame someone for this enquiry – then start with Roger’s Spiky Bum story, which is where I started this line of thought. So dredge your memories, sift and sort, then tell us all and don’t spare a thought for our blushes.

Once more – thanks to everyone who was part of Tony’s life from start to finish He’ll be greatly missed.

With Love

Adam Ososki

August 2005 with Tracy

Dad is to be buried this Friday at 2pm in Bristol. All of his friends are more than welcome. I know he would have wanted people to celebrate his life and wish him well for his future travels.

It will be a traditional Jewish Funeral, so for those who haven’t attended one before I have put together a few tips.

Dress code: Traditionally, we do not dress up to the nines. Clean but old clothes are in order. With hats mandatory for the men, but headware optional for the ladies.

Flowers – no flowers please, Dad would have liked you to donate to one of the Cancer charities for him instead.

Location

It will be at 2pm on Friday the 29th August, at Eastville Jewish Cemetery, Oakdene Avenue, off Fishponds Road in Bristol, BS5 6QQ. Its a few minutes from the M32 which connects the M4 and Bristol Centre. Parking is on the street and side streets around the cemetery.

If you click on either Map you will get taken to the full version if that helps you find the place.

It looks like it is exactly where Tony would have wanted to be, close to most of his children, and in a traditional Jewish Cemetery.

Any questions please email me direct on adamososki@yahoo.co.uk

All are welcome.

Adam

xx

This is Toby, Tony’s son, writing on behalf of him. I regret to inform you that in the early hours of this morning Dads body allowed him to pass on. I can assure you that it was as peaceful a time as could be – from doctors suggestions we feared the worst of how it might come about but something inside dad didn’t let that happen. It was a matter of sitting up eating an ice-lolly one moment, to laying on his side and letting go into sleep. He was strong, peaceful and composed till the very very end.
We all felt that he wouldn’t leave us until he was ready, and this can only mean that he felt that time was right – at no point was he ever dictated to by that disease. One of the most prominent memories I will always carry of my Dad was of his unabounding strength, a characteristic recognised by so many people - I can only hope to have half his strength one day.
The world is a poorer place without him, he had so much to offer in the way of his talents, advice and spirit – but, as he always believed, somewhere will have gained him.
Thankyou all for the support you have given – words cannot describe the importance that it has played.

Love

Tony’s famiy

Basically, I cannot now even keep water down. I’ve had a bad stomach so I’m very dehydrated and haven’t slept all night. They gave me a patch but it hasn’t helped the pain, only given me loads of new and different side effects including nausea – ironically even the tab they gave me to stop nausea makes me sick and has other side-effects! So I’m not very good with medication just now.

I’ll be back online when I return. Otherwise, it’s been great knowing you all!

I’ve stopped crowing about my super-smoothies and my ventures towards solid food, simply because it ain’t happening. After two doses of radiotherapy, neither of which appear to have done much except maybe stop the bleeding from my main oesophageal cancer (my back is no better at all), I have observed the relentless weight loss (over 52 lbs so far) and it took a bio-scientist friend of mine to say “You’d better get back on those Ensures or you won’t be here for long! You need the carbohydrates they offer and you need them now!”

I trust my friend, the bio-scientist. He is one of the most eminent people in his field. I also trust other views I am getting but I am in a cleft stick – if he tells me I am hastening my death by refusing easily-absorbed carbs such as are found in “Ensure” I feel I must follow his advice. He gave me a long explanation of why Ensures will keep me alive and I can see no point in throwing what little I have left away because of a somewhat academic issue. He is of the view that, whatever I do, this type of cancer is relentless. Refusing to nourish my body is really being suicidal and that I ain’t!

I have given a raw food diet every chance, to my absolute detriment, that is to say I can SEE my body deteriorating and that’s that. The speed at which the deterioration is maintained is very scary and I will take some Ensures as well as “the good stuff”.

My response is determined by my absolute inability to ingest anything other than liquid. My fantastic “smoothies” will no longer stay down as I fancy the tumour is advancing up my oesophagus, making it harder and harder.

My own advice will not be appropriate for everyone. Clearly the state of my digestive system is a bit unusual, so right now my priority is NOT TO DESTROY MY MUSCULAR SYSTEM COMPLETELY.

So today I reluctantly went on to Ensures again in the hope that it might give me a brief respite from becoming a living skeleton. What really brought it home were the family photos after my son’s wedding on Tuesday (see them at Adam and Mandy’s Wedding at http://www.flickr.com/gp/16735390@N00/054kh9 and I’m sure you’ll agree!) Watching my family and friends watching me was an education! I think it’s time for me to concentrate on building up a bit as the “good food” is not helping at all.

Any advice welcome.

Another problem is that the nature of these sickly drinks is that they come straight back up if I drink the slightest amount of fruity stuff, because they curdle into lumps which won’t go down because the aperture to my stomach is now so tiny. I crave ice cold fruity things but can’t have them without real discomfort.

I will see my oncologist next Thursday and she will offer me chemo but knows I’ll say “NO”. She may offer me a stent to allow food down but the dangers here are making the cancer bleed again and metastasize further, as well as possible rejection.

My spiritual side is being well looked after with meditation, reiki and an excellent grop of positive buddies, so do not fear for my state of mind. But, when the body is so relentlessly attacked, it’s hard to see that in a positive way without deluding oneself.

Working is tougher now but I’m still doing it as we have to pay the mortgage. After that, who knows?

Oh, so pretty was my Zo-Zo,
Shining pink with lusty cries,
And today you’re such a beauty
Fair of skin with gentle eyes.

All your brothers and your sisters
Cherish you with mighty praise,
Missed you when you left the country,
Know your travels will amaze.

How adventurous is my Zo-Zo!
Travelling the world so vast.
So intrepid is her nature,
Lives so fully, learns so fast.

I love all our conversations,
Hearing all your wondrous news.
I imagine that I’m with you,
In your footsteps, in your shoes.

Level-headed is my Zo-Zo,
Sensible and makes sense too.
Sees the world with no illusions,
Hers the balanced overview.

I knew how you’d shine, my baby,
Saw your future shining bright.
I have wished you such good fortune
Since that dark and foggy night.

Here’s my thought process. I am calling this series of paintings “Nature’s Palette”. Why? Because I am drawing my inspiration from some of the flora and fauna that this good earth provides naturally. This involves, colour, texture and form taken from insects, fish, crustaceans, animals, birds, flowers and plants, all shining examples of what could not (in my opinion) happen purely at random.

As an artist, when I look at some of our natural phenomena I somehow just “know” that a Supreme Designer’s mind is behind their creation. It’s simply not good enough to say that their appearance happened by chance, and, by committing them to canvas, I believe I will be at least making my view clear, that through the very appreciation we have for beautiful things – art, music, nature – we can be sure that there is a purpose behind it all!

By using the vivid colours, remarkable textures and intricate forms to be found everywhere on earth (and probably beyond), I am “borrowing” a palette of such wealth and power that I feel almost as if I am cheating by calling the canvases my own work. You will see no actual creatures or botanical specimens, but merely my abstract “translation” using the palette. I am concentrating my studies on a wide variety of life form, and these twelve pictures will, I hope, get it out of my system and into the open.

I will be publishing a photo of each painting as they are completed.

Anyone reading this – please send me if you wish any photographic examples (jpegs) of the kind of thing you may associate with nature’s design – all grist to the mill! Please send to ososki@btinternet.com

You, whose strange ethereal beauty
Haunts by day and in my dreaming,
So, so sweet!
I love to greet
Your happy features sunny, beaming,
Growing swiftly, granddaughter mine.

Every little thing you’re doing
Thrills my heart and stirs my thinking,
I watch you grow,
I love you so
Approving all those moments, drinking
In each step, each word you speak.

You’re the essence of my longing;
Through you, Alma, I will realise
So many hopes
I love to hold.
My survival is through your eyes
Living each day for my granddaughter’s steps.

Little Alma, dusky beauty,
Smiling angel of my waking,
Hold my memory!
I love to catch
Each breath of you, each second taking
Away my fears, granddaughter mine.